Chris Brookmyre believes he has sussed the five Scots whose dark secrets will shape the future crime bestsellers.

Lorraine Kelly
Nobody is telling me that woman doesn’t have a head in her fridge and a blood- spattered altar where she makes horrific sacrifices to a grotesque effigy of Paul Sturrock.

Nicola Sturgeon
Only bloodlines riven with true evil emerge from Dreghorn. She pursued a path to high office to ensure she  had the power to suppress the truth about Ayrshire’s hellmouth.

Ian Rankin
All that vinyl he buys is actually for melting down and coating his victims, House of Wax style.

Val McDermid
Workmen have to sign an NDA before they’re allowed into her basement. It’s a redundant measure as none of them ever recovers the power of speech.

Judith Ralston
The Scottish weather is HER FAULT. She has the power to control it but prefers to watch us suffer.

rainfault

 

Chris will be at Bloody Scotland 2016 at the following events:BloodyScotland

Mark Billingham and Chris Brookmyre, Friday 9th September, 8:30pm
Crime Writers Football Match: Scotland v England, Saturday 10th September, 2pm
Chris Brookmyre and Stuart Neville, Saturday 10th September, 5:30pm