Boys Behaving Badly

17th August, 2012

Who’s bad?

They are billed as the new bad boys of Scottish crime fiction and they will line up together in the Stirling Highland Hotel on Saturday September 15 at 18.30 during Bloody Scotland

But just how bad are Doug, Gary and Craig really?Bad enough that they have fallen out over who is the baddest bad boy on the block.

Judge for yourself or come along to Bloody Scotland and find out.

DOUG JOHNSTONE

Has either Craig Robertson or Gary Moffat carried out DIY brain surgery to remove evidence from their friend’s brain? Has either of them burnt a cop to death? Has either of them had sex with the widow of a crime lord they’ve just murdered? Has either of them massacred hundreds of seagulls or slit a dog’s throat? I doubt it.

I’ve done these things. OK, not me, my characters.

So if either of these two so-called ‘bad boys’ want to square up at this Bloody Scotland event, I’m happy to take ‘em on in the badness stakes. Bring it on, losers.

GJ MOFFAT

M’lud, Mr Bob Marley posed the question:

Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do?

I give you the answer thus:

Protection by GJ Moffat: eviscerated dog on page 5.

M’lud, that concludes the case for Mr Moffat.

CRAIG ROBERTSON

Bad boys? These guys don’t know the meaning of bad. They are about as bad as One Direction. Actually that’s quite bad…

Me? I’ve cut a dog in half with a samurai sword and choked an innocent dentist to death with a rolled up newspaper. I’ve stabbed someone in the eye with a screwdriver and crucified a cop against a warehouse door while his mouth was stuffed with £20 notes. I’ve also had rats eat the face of a dead body.

In real life I regularly split infinitives and once made an annoying small child cry by kicking him. Slightly.

 

To be continued?